英文诗【当你老去】汉译古诗版

野芳草宸

2007年应北大一中文老师之约，对【当你老去】进行古诗翻译。以前几个版本，我这个朋友均不满意。交稿后，朋友赞叹不已

夕阳暮照，汝近晚秋，贪睡色苍华发。

叹慨人生，恰如诗歌卷画。
看炉旁.你盹眠香遐，我望去.还存昔韵，已添目郁忧乏。
追忆当年吗？俊惹众蝶慕，几多真假？

洁玉冰心，唯我品来为啥？
便老衰.爱依然不差。

对你歌，微带凄伤声滑。

爱逝落.却飘高岗，若隐星空塔。

附英文诗

HEN YOU ARE OLD AND GREY AND FULL OF SEELP [/M]

AND NOODING BY THE FIRE，TAKE DOWN THIS BOOK

AND SLOWLY READ，AND DREAM KF THE SOFT LOOK

YOUR EYES HAD ONCE， AND OF THEIR SHADOWS DEEP；

HOW MANY LOVED YOUR MONMENTS OF GLAD GRACE

AND LOVED YOUR BEAUTY WITH LOVE FALSE OR TRUE

BUT ONE MAN LOVED THE PILGRIM SOUL IN YOU

AND LOVED THE SORROWS OF YOUR CHANGING FACE

AND BEDING DOWN BESIDE THE GLOWING BARS

MURMUR，A LITTLE SADLY，HOW LOVE FIED

AND PACED UPON THE MOUNTAINS OVERHEAD

AND HID HIS FACE AMID A CROWD OF STARS  

空桥

草宸兄的这首与月河兄的那首吹火诗新版【鱼鱼评】有异曲同工之妙！

南草萋萋

挺好的，仰慕下。。。问好草宸兄。

琉璃雪

WHEN YOU ARE OLD AND GREY AND FULL OF SEELP

标题里第一个词是否 When ？

野芳草宸

琉璃雪 发表于 2013-3-24 06:39
WHEN YOU ARE OLD AND GREY AND FULL OF SEELP

标题里第一个词是否 When ？

第一句原文是：WHEN YOU ARE OLD AND GREY AND FULL OF SEELP。可能粘贴时漏掉。谢谢补正

小草花

老兄好，看上去不错，但感觉上还是今版的耐读。。